The way this blog started was when I suggested a healthy eating challenge in the Mama Laughlin Fit Camp for the month of May. When no one else really picked up on leadership, I decided that it might as well be me and set it up.
You see, I have finally gotten to the point of maintenance for myself, deciding that I am at a good place in my journey of having lost 160 lbs to stop worrying about the scale and focus more on utilizing healthy eating habits and exercising more often than not, making sure not to put too much stretch in my skinny jeans. My diet has kind of fallen into a pattern of eating well and strictly during the work week with at least 4 days of rigorous exercise, and eating whatever I like my weekend "rest days". I am maintaining my weight that way, but I still feel like I could improve on my eating patterns on the weekends, namely in my pattern of binging.
You see, I got to 320+ lbs because I am a binger. I can eat...
and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and...
Well, you get it by now I'm sure. I don't know what it is really, but there is just something broken in me. Once I start eating, it's VERY difficult to stop unless I have something else I need to be doing. I STILL have binge days. I won't lie, occasionally I still even have binge weeks. I have gone through lots of questioning and wondering WHY I do this, but so far there's no easy answer and so I have to be extremely careful to control this behavior in the only ways I have found to be effective until I can figure out what created and causes it. It's taken a LOT of failure to create the healthy habits that I have managed to acquire in the past 3 years.
Enter the idea for the May Healthy Eating Challenge that I began for the Fit Camp Girls, and with that a Facebook group of my own and now a blog too. Why not? I want to continue to improve in my relationship with food. And having a crowd to rally with me is invigorating. I really feel like I could take this idea somewhere. Because even though I think I will always battle in this area of my life, I find comfort knowing that I have come this far and that I am not the only one fighting. The more people I have in my corner, cheering on encouragement to each other, the stronger the hope becomes that someday we will manage to find victory in war against ourselves.
When I created the group, I originally called it "I Beat Obesity" and in the first month I had reached more than 8,000 people. I realized then that people were hungry for a story like mine. Some average, everyday girl who managed to push her fat ass from the back of the battle to the front lines of the most fit. And if this is a way that I can help my peers, if this is what I have to offer back from all the help and blessings I've been given here and there randomly along the way, then I will do it. I will be an open book in an effort to allow people to see how I have managed to succeed in enough small, hourly battles as to make a forceful dent in the self-imposed cancer that grows on a person who has succumbed to the addiction that is obesity.
So please come in, and I am SO glad you're here. Have a seat and get comfortable. Let me share with you what I've learned and the ideas it has given me. I hope you can take something back with you to share.
XOXO
-Cole
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